Bad Vibe about Monbu Application

Yesterday, I had language test(s) for the Monbukagakusho scholarship application.

My English test results, as I learned today, were very good.
Not a surprise... it included texts like I always deal with, and tests like these I wrote myself. You get 60 minutes to take the test, I was finished after 30.
Japanese was a different matter. Or would have been, if it counted as part of the application (it's only for seeing how much the applicant already knows).

Funny thing happened after that: I walked past a group of Spanish, and one commented: "Que guapo." A little later, I went past some people sitting outdoors, and one said basically the same thing, in English: "Now, there's a good looking guy."
First off, I don't see myself as particularly good-looking. And secondly, why was it guys who said that? There, I prefer the Latvian girl who wolf-whistled after me ;-)

Today's talk with the commission deciding who'll actually get the scholarship feels like it didn't go too well.

I never thought I'd say that in any context involving Japanese, but I felt that it, and I, was all too cool and rational. I could have explained some things, like for how long I have wanted to get to Japan, a lot better, I fear.

Then again, things have to - and can only - be as good as they can be "now," at the moment they are happening. Afterwards, it's over. Draw a lesson, but more importantly, remember to go on.
Maybe my feeling is wrong and they'll still pick me. If so, I would be surprised, but pleasantly so. If not, I can't change it.

Honestly, I just don't feel like projecting youthful enthusiasm anymore. I do that naturally when I can give a talk about something that fascinates me, but in a situation like applications, it's become a survival skill to be able to remain cool and have a Plan B (and C, and D, preferably).
Maybe that's not the best thing, but it's not the best world, either.